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Spoonful and Yellow Eyes

I’ve been craving Spoonful for about the past week now…all I’ve been able to think about has been birthday cake yogurt with some fruity pebbles and these things that are called Gogi I think, they are gummy like and don’t really have a taste, but I love them because they remind me of China.  They seem like a Chinese type food so I can never resist adding them to the wonderful goodness that is Spoonful.  I went with my sister and brother in law and as we were walking in an older man came walking up very fidgety with quick like movements, with eyes that had a nervous look to them as well as being bloodshot and yellow.  My conclusion, from this man’s actions was that he was on some sort of substance that was causing him to act in such a bizarre manner.  He asked my brother in law if he had any money to give him.  My brother in law being the fellow he is gave him some.  Instead of saying thank you and walking away the man was not satisfied with what he had been given and continued to haggle with my brother in law.  My sister and I watched all this happen a few feet away from us and all I could think was, “Why is this making me so uncomfortable?”  The little tiny hairs on my neck stood up, and not because I was cold, but because I felt threatened…and I can’t exactly pin down why.  I wasn’t scared of this man, I didn’t feel as though he was going to harm me in any way and I don’t have any problem giving money to people I may meet in my journey of everyday life.  It wasn’t the yellow eyes or the fact that he looked like he may not have taken a shower in awhile, (I work at a county hospital, I see things like this all the time, and have discovered that some of the most incredible people I have ever met fall into the category I just described above), so I wasn’t sure what is was.  This bothered me and so I’ve been re-playing the whole scenario in my head trying to nail down why I was so extremely uncomfortable.  I started thinking about this man and the things he may have had to face during his life.  Did he grow up feeling loved? Was he homeless?  Did he have a family? Was he on drugs? How long had he been haggling with people for a few bucks here and there?  A million thoughts and questions kept bouncing back in forth…

I decided it was because the situation was so unpredictable…I didn’t know what this man was going to do and I sure didn’t have control over the situation.  He may very well be a very pleasant man, but not being in complete control of his actions because of whatever substance he was on made me completely nervous.  So I guess my concluding thought to this totally random post is, I really don’t have control over most any situation, so I might as well do what I think is right, trust that intuition I feel so strongly about, and remember to look deeper than the crazy circumstances people get themselves into…

I hope that man has somewhere warm to sleep tonight..and I hope that he hasn’t lost himself in something he feels is so deep there is no return…and I hope hope hope that our beautiful Creator will speak to him tonight.


Comments on: "Spoonful and Yellow Eyes" (1)

  1. boba…it’s called boba.

    and it is asian!

    i love your thoughts. i could picture you re-telling me this story and it made me happy. we need more people like you. people that care.

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