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Tomorrow is going to be a long day.  And quite frankly I’m terrified.  I have a class for the ER from 1-5, and then I’m going to go into the ER at 7pm for my first night shift. Thousands of thoughts are swirling through my mind…like, “I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know anything, I could kill someone, what if my preceptor thinks I’m stupid, wait, I already know I don’t know anything, what if it’s crazy and I hate it, what if I pass out, or throw up, or get yelled out, or, or, or…” the list goes on and on.  AND THEN…I start having a huge sad sob story for myself telling myself things like, “Nobody knows what I’m feeling, they have never had this kind of anxiety before, nursing has to be the most stressful job EVER….”  I have been somewhat anxious the past couple of days as these thoughts keep cultivating in my mind.  I will say though, I have been pushed to pray a lot more than I have in quite awhile.  I also believe that those closest to me are talking to the Father about all my worries, because I have felt a deep sense of peace this afternoon.  I’m still nervous.  I know there will be days that are awful, and everything I mentioned earlier could very well come true, such as the getting yelled at, but at this moment, I know that things will be okay…even if they aren’t…the will be.  Of course it will be scary, every new thing in life is, but it’s totally worth it:)

 

“Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation, as any painter’s or sculptor’s work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God’s spirit? It is one of the Fine Arts: I had almost said, the finest of Fine Arts.” Florence Nightingale

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Comments on: "~Swirling thoughts and a peaceful spirit~" (1)

  1. sharihenson said:

    praying for you! You’re gonna do great. You were born to do this!

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